Ingestion of Bay Laurel and of Poison Oak

 I rolled up a bay laurel leaf and sniffed it hard. The sensation was powerful. here is a link to an article by John Cox which had originally upset me for his slander of the use of California bay leaves in cooking by "many an intrepid local cook" and speculations that a single leaf can "overpower a 5-gallon batch of soup." However his article was informed and interesting and exactly what I was looking for. I love the smell of bay and the taste as well. I hope to try the fruit of the trees this fall. 

This guy John Cox is actually pretty cool, he ate local moon jellyfish and it sounds pretty tasty. I will add that to my list now too. apparently it is very popular to eat in Asia and even the US of A exports jellyfish to asian countries. who knew? many people, but not me. 

Yesterday I ingested poison oak. I picked the tender sprouts off a plant near Muir Woods. I used tweezers and a plastic bag (small bag for small shoots) then I brought them home and put one sprig (of 3) into a emptied out pill capsule that previously contained ashwaganda. I took it down with water and ate some bread and butter after. I had previously eaten a hour or so before trying the pill. Next time I would eat and drink first as I was nervous the pill could have become lodged in my throat like they have before when taken not at a time of normal food consumption. 

I currently have what I believe to be poison oak rash on my genitals(male), last night's dose and this morning's dose (doubled) have not seemed to decrease the normal behavior of the rash; becoming more itchy after inflammatory food, with heat and in the middle of the night. 

When I get oak it seems to make all the crevasses of my body itchy especially inner elbow, behind the legs, genitals and beneath the armpit. It doesn't seem to be a localized reaction and doesn't present as a oozing chafing rash. it is red and tender but I think a lot of it is caused by itching. 

I will also note that ingesting the small amount of poison oak did not make my urinary tract or rectum itchy as others had reported. Check out this article and the comment section if you are interested.

I was reading a book and it was talking about attuning with plants to communicate with them. I think that I need to be more intentional with my communications with poison oak. Plants are teachers! I have learned so much about myself because of poison oak; what foods or activities cause inflammation, how my body processes allergens, how histamines work, how to maintain resilient in the face of pain and debilitating irritation, and how much I appreciate having a functioning body and being alive--especially when I'm not waking up in the middle of the night itching my legs raw--but even when I am. 

Thank you poison oak. you teach me to be tough and resilient just like you are. 

 

"Metro - Dawn of Survivors" An Original Short Story by Logan With An Ending by Hassan (2015)

 The Heat wave was coming towards Metro #19b. Phil put up the old mattresses to block the  entrances. He fed some crumbled up strawberry tums to a chipmunk he hoped it could digest them. Meanwhile Thommy put on his burlap tee and red cotton booty shorts. He proceeded to go to his “special room” where he kept his “stuffies.” He lit incense and candles then poured his stuffie, doggie, app cup of tequila to get him tipsy then put him on the teeth filled sleeping bag. He kissed doggie on his nose and fell asleep on the bag. When Thommy fell asleep on the bag, Phil chained up their yak, Gretchen, to a concrete support beam and fed him stale Snickers bar. After an hour Thommy got up and found Phil making Asprin and wood pulp soup for Gretchen’s hurt liver. 

The survivors were running low on food, so they needed to stock up before the heat wave reached any closer to downtown Chicago. Phil strapped on a bandolier of homemade toxic salami gas bombs and grabbed his 2x4 with nails at the end. Thommy put on his powder puff girls backpack filled with the following; Wire cutters, pliers, a bottle of bleach, warm milk in a bag, a good luck scalp, 2 liters of listerine and sprite, 17 almond joys, 13 357. rounds, a balloon, a reference guide to vikings, a map of Chicago, a poo covered rectal thermometer and a compass. He picked his Raging Bull 6 shooter and shoved it into his shorts. Phil fed Gretchen the milky cloudy soup and attached the cart to her. Phil and Thommy helped her up the flight of stairs and then removed the mattress and opened the door it was  mild outside, Thommy’s thermometer read 82 degrees. He climbed into the wagon and Phil hopped up onto Gretchen.

"Lets raid the orphanage and see if their food cellar is stocked." Phil stated

"I was born in the soup kitchen across the street, I know right where it is"

"Ok great mark it on the map!"

Thommy zipped open his bag and pulled out the map Phil handed him sharpie mustang thin tip. They continued towards the orphanage and Thommy sipped on his warm milk, it complemented the hot day. Thommy split a Almond Joy, Phil took a bite and it cracked his wisdom tooth it was so stale. The temperature rose to 87 degrees and Phil began sweat. Everyone took a swig of the listerine and sprite concoction it boosted their morale and hydrated them. The trip would take a while longer so they stopped the cart in front of Lazy Oaks Retirement homes. An elderly English man kicked out the front door 

, he boasted a sub-machine Uzi, he shouted out a war cry which Thommy reconized as English Viking war chant. Thommy whipped out his raging bull for the first time, he figured that sense the caliber wasn't even larger than one, hence the decimal .357 it wasn't even that powerful. He squeezed the trigger and the firce recoil Broke his wrist, snapped his fore arm and the gun flew out of his hand and broke his nose. The shot was spot on and made up for the injuries, it saved all three of the survivors. The mans head exploded into A fine red mist and cries of victory and agony were heard. Thommy started to cry and and sniffle, Phil walked over and punched Thommy in the neck, causing him to choke

"Get up you wimpy sleaze bag!"Thommy knew what he had to do, he walked to the bottom half of the head and poured bleach on the teeth, then pulled them out with pliers. He put them in a Tupperware container then gave it to Phil. 

They decided to search they retirement home. They both walked in, Phil held his his 2x4 but they needed to get Thommy a weapon. In the first room they searched, Thommy found a 20 inch Machete with a bit of rust and a medical tape wrapped handle. "Nice find brah" Phil said as he handed a soft hot piece of chewy milk candy to a grumpy raccoon. The candy got stuck in the raccon's throat and it choked and died. Phil started to cry and tommy sliced the raccoon into bite sized pieces and dropped them into the Tupperware with the teeth in in it. They decided to continue towards the orphanage. Both of them got up onto the wagon and the continued on their way. Once they reached the orphanage the temperature rose to 91 degrees. "We need to make this quick, you search the basement and I search the main floor." They both went their separate ways. Thommy tiptoed down the stairs and reached the basement with out a sound he did a quick search of the room and found 7 wine kegs and a shelf of pickles. The pickles were nice and sour. He took a sip from the bag of hot milk and snacked on some fresh raccoon. Meanwhile Phil found and secret room where babies were being preserved in a yellow liquid. The room smelled of almonds and tequila. He opened up a oak wood cabinet and found an infestation of herpes infected rats. Phil hollered for Thommy and began to whack the rats with his 2x4. Thommy came sprinting up the creaky stairs and helped Phil whack the rats. Once the floor was cloaked with gore Phil said;

“Lets get out of here!” 

“One sec, we need trade material”

He put the blood and guts into his flex force garbage bag then crammed it into his almost full back pack. They ran out into the cart and slapped Gretchen. When they got speen going with gretchen the heard a series of fireworks and both said at the same time;

“Black Market trading hour.”

“We can take refuge there!”

“Why?”

“Its closer than Metro and it is already 97 degrees out”

“Good idea”

They reached the trading warehouse just as it turned 104 degrees. Inside the warehouse it was cool with air conditioning. There were a couple dozen of different species including a wizard and shrek.It stunk of onions,bod and odor and fish. We empr\tied out our bags on a folding table and found; Wire cutters, pliers, a bottle of bleach, warm milk in a bag, a good luck scalp, 2 liters of listerine and sprite, 16 almond joys, 13 357. rounds, a balloon, a reference guide to vikings, a map of Chicago, a poo covered rectal thermometer, a compass, a tupperware filled with raccoon meat, three jars of pickles, herpes infected rat guts inside a flex force, human teeth in a tupperware. Phil’s bag held; 12 canisters of salami gas, assorted hard candies, assorted stale candy candy bars, a bottle of hot beer. They left the main building into a smaller relaxing area, and saw the silhouette of a large humanoid figure. As they got closer, they found it was the huge green ogre that was Shrek. He was naked, fat and sweaty. \`1

Phil walked up to him

“Phil my laddie, Do ya mind if I take your little friend to the back room?” Phil fed him a Jolly Rancher and said he didn’t mind. Shrek choked on the watermelon Jolly Rancher and Phil smiled and begged mercy upon Shrek. Shrek rejected him Phil cries and is killed by an onion hurled by Shrek. Thommy screams at the top of his lungs and runs at shrek, machete in hand, he reaches up and slices open shrek’s throat and chucks in some rotten and boiling milk. Shrek falls to the ground and Thommy takes a can of salami gas and crams the can down the throat shrek dies and the gas comes out of shrek’s butthole and belly button.

An Open Letter to T.G.I Fridays

To whom it may concern,

My name is Logan B******** and I recently purchased a bag of T.G.I. Friday's Bacon Ranch Potato Skins Snack Chips. Prior to my purchase, I was enticed by the images on the front of the bag and the promises inscribed on the back—"mouth watering flavor sensation" and "savory bacon and ranch." However, my fervor was short-lived.

Upon opening the package I was greeted with an aroma that neither resembled ranch nor bacon. This, however, did not faze me. As an avid chip-eater, I know that some of even the strongest flavor profiles may not always be reflected in the collective scent of the chips. Though after I picked up one of the "Potato Skins," I realized my initial fears may have been based in reality. The chip was nowhere near similar to the hunger-arousing images plastered on the bag and after tasting the first chip, I was severely disappointed. I've had my fair share of zesty or cool ranch based potato chips and I know what the market standards are for this flavor profile. I also have experience with artificial bacon extracts and flavoring as this snack-food market is continually expanding and readily available for consumers. 

What I can tell you, with confidence, is that these "Snack Chips" are nowhere near the quality of other potato chips and are a sorry attempt to compete with current snack-food conglomerates. I tell you this not out of spite but out of concern. The flavor of these chips was simply underwhelming and bland. I understand that these are not regular potato chips and are classified under the 'Potato Skins" category but that wasn't the issue. Their crunch and texture were unique and satisfying but the failure was in their seasoning. Although salty and addicting as other MSG snack chips are, these lacked any sort of individuality or "mouth watering flavor sensation" as promised. 

These chips tarnish the reputation of T.G.I. Friday's restaurant chain as a whole and I believe, undermine the tenets of T.G.I. Friday's. Personally, I had never tried T.G.I. Friday's chips nor been to a restaurant and this experience makes me think I was better off before. Don't get me wrong, I have faith in this corporation and would like to see your "snack chips" make a booming impact on the current market. Though with these chips to represent your business, I think an attack on the snack food giants of today will be largely futile. Fortunately, I've been around this industry long enough to know that chips can change—flavor chemists discover new compounds and consumers seed out the premier snacks by voting with their hard earned dollars. I'm still open to attending a T.G.I. Friday's chain or purchasing an alternative flavor of Potato Skins Snack Chips but my relationship with the brand will be hard to mend after this experience. 

I've invested more time in this correspondence than originally planned because I really do hope to see improvement in a brand I was excited to try for the first time.

Best regards,

Logan Brockbank

What is your username?

1st letter of your name:  Your Birthday:

A Wandering 1 Vagrant

B A National 2 Cedar

C Wingèd 3 Jima

D Slumber 4 Cheney

E Iwo 5 King

F Standard 6 Jacker

G The Damned 7 Miramar

H Bane of the 8 Ungol

I Iron 9 Miwok

J Clear 10 Kütton

K Diabolical 11 Hind

L Bay of 12 Raiders

M The Golden 13 Sabbath

N Beast of 14 Journey

O Hero's 15 Coliseum 

P Emigrating 16 Rat

Q Hosannah 17 Época

R Neo 18 Changeling

S Wayfaring 19 Forager

T Hammered 20 Mountaineer 

U Humble 21 Beast

V Lost 22 Fisherman

W Royal 23 Zenith

X Little 24 Christ

Y Montana 25 Debaser

Z Cirith 26 Plutocrat

27 Homesteader

28 Shacklers

29 Caravan

30 Specter

31 Sultan

Comment below, or better yet, use your username as inspiration for your next account!
Add hyphens, underscores, numbers, pluralize, or singularize as needed.

Mine is bayofshacklers. 

Wildcard Vlog #3

Hullo loyal followers! I'm sure you are all wondering why I haven't been posting! Well, I've been busy so stop fucking pestering me!!! They say "epic things come for those who wait" or "blessed are those who sit and wait," but I can't remember which and I can't remember who they is. For those who waited, your metaphorical "epic thing" is here. Enjoy this new Wildcard vlog.

Quarantine Entry #1

3/17/2020

Entry #1

In these unprecedented times, I am going to record my life under quarantine for historical purposes. Currently, the government has issued a "shelter in place" to all residents of the Bay Area. Only essential services will be open and all residents are ordered to remain inside without physical contact to people outside of their residencies. Tonight is day one of lockdown. I have prepared by purchasing 296 ounces of beer and two bags of chips.

The market today was not as busy as I would've expected and the line was only about 4 people. The man working the register would not sell pallets of water or full packs of toilet paper because he "wants to make sure everyone could get some." I told him I respected that. From what I saw though, the Safeway's were madhouses. My friend actually had his tire slashed while stocking up on supplies. He was very angry with "people acting like it's the fucking purge."

It is interesting to see how quickly society can unravel. I can't even imagine what would happen if this virus was deadlier. I am versing myself in many theories about the ulterior motives behind this virus. Was it human engineered? How are the global banking elites using this to scapegoat economic failure? Are we being conditioned for martial law? What is the deep state's endgame? Why haven't I seen any firsthand accounts of people with the virus? This question is the most interesting. No accounts on any social media sites anywhere. I haven't even seen a single person claim that they know somebody who has the virus...What it feels like right now is the government seeing how many rights and freedoms we can diminish by our own hand. The fear is being manipulated and exacerbated to make the populace more compliant. Is it a matter of time until the national guard starts rolling in? Or is this just a test run to see how easy the government will have it when the hammer of authoritarianism strikes?...

There are many important questions to ask yourself. In reality though, the first thing that people will ask is, "how can I protect myself and my family?" It easy not to care about whatever boogeyman is trying to impede on your rights when your loved ones are in danger. I blame no one because of this fact.

Remember the widespread fear and panic after 9/11? I was barely alive during that time but I've read testimonies and seen the laws that they passed. The Authorization for Use of Military Force, Patriot Act, invasion of Iraq—I don't think the government would have had such an easy time with their unconstitutional surveillance and war mongering without an American panic. Right now it looks as if the government is trying to end data encryption under the guise of catching online pedophiles. Check out the Earn It Act.

 Now, it will be interesting to see how this develops. Later I will explore what martial law is and how it can happen. I will keep you informed. THE TRUTH SERUM!!!!

 

NICE

HowManyOfMe.com

There are or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

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